appearance> themes options – missing

Just downloaded the latest version of wp. I am new to this community. So far pure frustration. Been following the advice of a tutorial but it calls for me to access ‘appearance> themes options’ but there is no ‘theme options’ button. I’m really at my last stress with this wp stuff. It sells itself as a user friendly option for people with no coding skills. So far it seems like an over complicated contradicting mess. Everything i try is a road block.