Ooookay. Lively bunch here!
I fixed the problem.
So… when dealing with hosting providers, please make sure they give you the name of the actual database. It’s no fun playing with a dead-end database.
For anyone who experienced the same issue, you do not necessarily need to add admins to mySQL, as was done in the tutorial in my post above.
Instead, under wp_usermeta, find your user ID alongside wp_capabilities in the meta_key column. Click “edit,” and change the wp_capabilities meta_value field to a:1:{s:13:”administrator”;s:1:”1″;}
and you can now log in once again.
I hope this helps!